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heeeere's oatmeal

Consider the savory oatmeal addition to your morning routine. It's fairly simple and will curb all those cravings later in the day for candy, macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, stuff with melted cheese on it, and all the other stuff you're eating because you're cold and desperate and hangry and crossing your fingers that the next bite will fill the void.

The oatmeal itself mellows out during cooking to create this unreal creamy, thick texture. Paired with a warm, gooey poached egg, this breakfast ensures you'll forget about the mounting pressures of turning 30 next year or the new neighbors who have decided to start building a barn at 9 am on a Sunday. Way easier for quelling circumstantial angst than a bucket of xanax (and more delicious - priorities)!

Simple Savory Oatmeal

Yield: 1 bowl of oatmeal

Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients and Tools

for the aggressive spicing

1tsp of salt

generous pinch of black pepper

generous pinch of cayenne

generous pinch of paprika

generous pinch of tumeric

generous pinch of cumin

1/3 cup of almond milk plus water to fill pan

2 tbsp of olive oil (or goat or regular butter)

for the rest

1 egg

1/3 cup steel cut oats

a small pan

a wooden spoon

a fixed smile

• Fill the pan with the almond milk and then add water until the pan is 2/3 full. Turn flame to high and add in the spices (salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika, turmeric, cumin, oil/butter). Let boil.

• When the water starts boiling, add the oats. Let the water return to a boil and then turn down the heat to medium. Stir.

• When the oat mixture has the consistency of thick oat soup (but not yet oatmeal), drop a raw egg into the middle of the pan. Turn heat to low, constantly stirring the oatmeal. Add some soupy oats on top of the egg to let it cook a little more. When the liquid is no longer separate from the oats, remove from the flame. Let the oatmeal sit for a minute to lock in the flavor.

Gooooooood morning!



eat everything you make by tasting along the way



be willing to add weird spices and flavors - if it's terrible, just don't do it again



find a friend (or a couple) with trustworthy tastebuds

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